• Adyar Times

Sit-down Comedy

Updated: Apr 8, 2020

Grin and bear it guys. No other option. Have you ever taken a week’s vacation when your spouse wanted to attend her distant relative’s wedding? Or has your boss ever approved leave for your In-laws’ in-laws’ wedding anniversary? A total lockdown for all our misdeeds. But bad luck is when you never get to see anyone else other than your wife.

Also, you are forced to watch all the TV serials that are on the agenda of the elders at home. That a real horror ya, never knew ladies could mastermind so many plots from putting the mother in law to eternal rest or ruining the ex-boyfriend’s life to the extent of mixing up lab reports to prove he is HIV+ or trying her best to abort the child of the other daughter-in-law of the house. That day I was staring at the food on my plate and giving a panoramic view of the ladies around, wondering if…. But I was glad I am not the lone sufferer. My colleague sent a photo of the new dishwasher she had purchased. It was a photo of her husband.

Whatsapp was a real blessing keeping us informed and aware. That was for a week only. It then turned us insane with messages of ‘Beware!’. My wife gave me a concoction to drink and added that she had received four or five recipes to boost immunity, so she put them all together and extracted it. It smelt like a ten-day-old rotted fruit and left me scratching my tongue.’

The updates I received on the current positive cases in various cities was a real purgative. I just put on a casual look telling others at home there is nothing to panic. Our Government is there na…. we shall overcome this together.

These sadhus (I don’t know why they are called sadhus, they are never quiet, always involved in some controversy or the other) must, of course, have their say. Even if they don’t say anything, there are a thousand voice messages from other believers in superstitions asking us to do absurd things like standing out and singing with your face turned to the sky. I think they presume to frighten the virus away by a cacophony of sounds. I laughed loudly when my wife asked me to do this, she left rolling her eyes at me and steaming through her nose. Around midnight I think I got a bit shaky about displeasing a sadhu or whoever; what if he curses me and I lose my…….. (Job). I went out to the balcony, looked up and sang silently. You won’t believe me, all the men in the neighbourhood were there. Each one had some fear or the other.

The good thing is that this is not only family bonding but working with the Governance also, guys. We were not physically present for our family, chasing our dreams or the wife’s dreams. Now is the time to look around and be socially conscious and co-operate with the Government in this mammoth task to implement their strategy for saving the nation from a tiny virus that is swishing its tiny RNA molecule and a blob of fat.

But remember guys, there are other policies of the Govt. too which we should honor. Do not shock the Government at the next census!!!!

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